As you can see if you check back to December, I love a trifle. I'm not really a dessert person but on the rare special evening (and sometimes for no reason at all) I love a sweet thing, 'specially layers of cake and cream and booze. Lately, with the weather getting freakishly balmy, I've been thinking of hunting...for warm weather fruits, like berries and lemons.

Those yummy things led to trifling thoughts, and - voila! - I wondered 'is there such a thing as a trifle that uses lemons and berries?' I've never made or had one, so I turned to Monsieur le Googel et - toute suite - "oui cherie" was the answer.

What I wondered most was how to transmogrify (yes, I said it) a traditional creme anglaise and all its vanilla splendor into a citrusy and/or berry-infused cream. So, scientific study was needed. This led to shock (ok, that may be a bit overstating it, considering my sources) that well known "chefs" so blatantly didn't even bother to convert said anglaise. In fact, two of 'em basically did the culinary equivalent of mixing lemon "juice" from that yellow, plastic, lemon-shaped bottle with freakin' defrosted Cool Whip to add the creamy element. Wow. Even I, untrained as I am, could muster better than that.

So, I hunkered down in the lab and started experimenting. I may be many unusual things but I'm no snooty pastry chef, so it isn't complicated but it sure is better than plastic-wrapped, frozen, chemical-laden faux fruit. You can get all bake-y and make your own cake...y --- or just buy one, which is what I did. Just make sure it's good quality.
See? Told'ja I'm easy. With this recipe.

Demented Lemon-Berry Love

1 lemon sponge or lemon pound cake, cut into 1/2" thick slices
12 oz. jar of seedless raspberry jam or preserves
quart of heavy cream
1 tbsp. confectioner's sugar
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
1 pint blueberries, washed
1 pint strawberries, washed, hulled and sliced
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. fresh lemon juice

Empty jar of jam into a small, microwave-safe bowl. Heat on high in microwave oven for 1 to 2 minutes, or until it melts down a bit and is thick but pourable. This can also be done on the stovetop, in a small saucepot on low heat. Stir occasionally to facilitate even heating. Set aside to cool. When it reaches room temperature, you can proceed.

Combine blueberries and strawberries with sugar and lemon juice in a deep bowl. Toss well to coat evenly, Set aside.

Pour cream into a large, clean bowl. Add the confectioner's sugar and vanilla and whip, at high speed, with a hand mixer or stick blender, until it forms peaks.

Begin layering trifle: Place slices of cake in the bottom of a trifle bowl or other deep serving vessel. Drizzle generously with melted jam. Add a layer of the berries and top with a thick layer of whipped cream. Continue this pattern until the serving vessel is full or you run out of ingredients.

If you want to make it pretty, you can hold back on a few of the berries and use them as a garnish for the top of the trifle. A little freshly grated lemon zest on top would also be a nice touch.

I know, no booze here. I wasn't able to try it out but I'm thinking Chambord or maybe lemon vodka could join this orgy. Next time.

For now, throw yourself on the dish and attempt to bite anyone who would dissuade you from having it all!
{Then find Rachael Ray's email and tell her where to put her ridiculous plastic lemon. Preferably somewhere painful.}

The kitchen remains closed. These days I have more on my mind than tiddling around it, though I still like chopping things. Don't get me wrong, I'm indulging nearly all my appetites (:wink:) but I now allow myself time to just be, something I didn't used to do. I didn't know it right away this morning, but it has been revealed to me that today is the 18th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. This has put me in a reflective mood and, rather than recipes, I feel like writing about it over my coffee.

Let me preface: I wasn't a big Nirvana fan in the early 90s, and don't much seek out my CDs now, but K's contribution and his demise hit me nonetheless. Then, and now. Maybe it was because we were about the same age. Maybe it was because I'd met him before he was big (and he was a nice guy). Maybe it was because - like it or not - his death was one of the defining moments of Gen-X, like those before had memorialized Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, John Lennon, JFK. I'm still not sure what the trigger was/is for me, but today the reminder of this sad anniversary makes me remember and assess.

Truthfully, before he died, I was irritated by Nirvana's success. I remember some of my friends at the time couldn't understand why I wasn't overjoyed - most of us were entrenched in the "underground" and a few of them thought we were about to have our "alternative" moment. But for me, the band's explosion into mainstream music made me wary and overshadowed other subcultures and underground musical genres that were/are more important to me. I was in an industrial band at the time, a genre that seemed promising then and has, since, just about fallen off the radar altogether.

Even all these years later, I can't help but be bothered by my grunge flashbacks - fashion designers showing flannel-soaked lines on the Today show; the mass migration of musicians to Seattle; the deluge of "similar" bands that flooded the market, most of which were complete crap.  Perhaps worst of all was Courtney and the show she put on. All these years later and it still makes me shake my head and tsk tsk tsk.

I was working at a daily newspaper then, and was the one who pulled the AP feed when Kurt OD'd in Italy. None of the old guys in the newsroom had a clue about him, so I - the young, blonde, strange cookie with the bike chain permanently affixed to her wrist by some long-gone guy - got to handle it. The day he died, I was off and home alone. I remember staying in pajamas until late in the day, watching TV, talking to people on the phone. I wasn't surprised. I remember thinking what a shame it was that his daughter would never know him, how wrong it was for him to do that to her.

I still feel that way - sorry for her, sickened by her mother, my head spinning by how the band changed music. I wonder what he'd be like now. He may have become savvy and done well, like Grohl has flourished (and I'm proud of him for it), but my gut tells me he would've retreated into some iconic exile, like JD Salinger, with reality TV vultures hunting him for today's disgusting offerings. Now I'm old enough to know that sometimes things are better left alone, maybe he knew that then. In any case, I pause to remember, fondly.

{For the record, I am NOT an Oasis fan but the title and lyrics seemed fitting. ;) Thanks for reading. Now go do something fun!}

I know, I said I'd be a good girl and post. That I'd be casting spells and making mischief in my kitchen and reporting it all to you. But I haven't. I have been cooking, just not telling anyone out there about it. I guess it's a bit like kissing and telling, I'm just so caught up in the pleasure of my culinary dalliances, and consuming them, that I have no energy leftovers. ;)

Truth be told, I've been making some changes - not related to food - in my life and am unsure what to do with GoreyHaus. I love writing about my naughty, scary foodie loves, but I've begun to wonder if it's worth continuing. Partly because, since the long break during treatment, some faithful minions fell in love with other sites (I think) and because every Igor-Thor-and-Hagatha seems to have a food blog now, so - even though I'm my unique self - it's hard to compete with chipper, sweet, too serious foodies who update daily. Also, I now seem to get a really undue amount of amusing pornographic emails from Russian, um, friends thru my LJ, so I have a feeling those readers aren't coming {ahem} here to cook....food.

Ultimately, I know I'm to blame. I've neglected you. I haven't been here for you like I used to be. I want to be back in your good graces, I really do....but.....it may be time to shift gears. I'm still mulling over what to do. And, as always, I'm open to suggestions....just watch it Sergei (you know who you are!).

I have fallen into a food love over the past year. If you stop by here regularly, you know I crave all things spicy and from the sea. So it makes sense that fish tacos - with my own spicy chipotle crema - have their hooks in me.

You can use the fishy of your choice. Grill it, bake it, fry it - you're in control. I happen to get all tingly for lightly breaded, crispy fried or baked fish in my tacos, because that thin layer of crunch adds another layer to an already multi-textured dish and I just...oooh...I need a moment to compose myself.

{sigh} Oh. So, as I was saying.

Fish tacos can be super simple and light. You could even make it so easy as to, I dunno, buy top-quality, wild-caught fish sticks. Cook them according to package instructions. Serve them in warmed, store-bought flour tortillas. Top them with shredded cabbage, diced tomatoes, thinly-sliced sweet onion, slices of avocado and my frighteningly easy chipotle crema.



I often do make such shortcut fish tacos -- can you say 'frozen aisle'? -- for a quick weeknight dinner {especially during winter, when the delicious villagers local citizens don't walk the estate at night}. You can go so far as to make side dishes, like rice and beans or a salad, or you can just go full-on taco feeding frenzy.

Just remember, you'll have to clean up that mess.

You are what you eat. Most of us have heard that. I'm on the fence a bit since I know some critters that would not be in good shape if this were absolutely true (looking at you freaky eaters...toilet paper? corn starch? bathroom cleanser?). However, you can't expect to look and feel good if the intake isn't up to snuff.   Zombies are the exception here, who knows what goes on with their metabolisms.

For those of us whose cells are still (mainly) alive, you can help yourselves by eating a few key things everyday. If you don't believe me, ask long-time cancer warriors Kris Carr and Dr. David Servan-Schreiber. Add these goodies to your diet - in a soup or salad, as a snack, juice 'em, whatever - but have some, daily. Pick and choose, rotate, but include them for health.

The short list of everyday must vitamin-rich foods for most people:
broccoli, kale, chard, spinach, fennel, oranges, avocadoes, tumeric, blueberries, tomatoes, lemons, sweet potatoes, pomegranates, cauliflower, garlic, lentils, hummus, yogurt, olive oil, quinoa, goji and acai berries, coffee, green tea, ginger

And - do I need to say this? - water. More water than other beverages. In other words, limit those drinks that contain more sugar and chemicals than natural stuff. Unless you wanna be the Toxic Avenger.

Have a fruit salad or smoothie for breakfast, and include a couple of these items. Or make a lentil-veggie soup for lunch. A salad with a bunch of these foods (maybe topped with grilled, wild salmon or stir-fried tofu) goes a long way to feeding you the right way.

How about this quick & delicious treat? Make it ahead of time to enjoy early in the morning or compile it in just a few minutes to eat any time of day or night. {If you don't know how to supreme, click here. Ming will school you on eviscerating citrus. It's fun!}

Gorey's Fresh & Freaky Fruity Melange

1 large orange, supremed
1 red grapefruit, surpremed
1 pomegranate, seeds only
handful of seedless red grapes, halved if large
handful of blueberries
2 pears, cored and sliced (I'm currently in love with red pears)
1 apple, cored and chopped (another love: gala apples)

Toss everything in a large bowl. Eat alone or with a big dollop of organic vanilla yogurt.


And then, today, news of helpful robotic parasites!  A cancer-eating robo-crab. So, metal may be on the eating-for-health list one day soon. Wow.

The holidays are over and the cold, bleak, gray days of winter stretch out ahead in an endless, desolate line that will last for months. Happy times, right?

Add to it that my old chums Nostradamus and those kooky Mayans (man, they could party) say we're all headed toward the apocalypse, and I think 2012 could be my favorite year so far.

If you're looking to get in shape after all the heavy holiday goodies, eat lighter as part of a New Year's resolution, or in preparation for the festive and final end, I've got an indulgent yet healthy recipe for you - sea monster salad. I can't find good, fresh monster anymore but its smaller, sweeter cousin, the crab, works very nicely in this dish, and you could use fresh, canned or even frozen crab - whatever keeps your boat afloat.

This is quick to whip up too {I love whipping crabs!}, and versatile. Serve it as an entree salad, use it in appetizers, or gobble it out of the bowl whilst making scary and gross gluttonous noises...that's what my grandmaman used to do.

Gorey's Crab Creation

1 lb. crab {if using canned, I like Phillips jumbo lump or backfin}
1/2 c. mayonnaise
1/4 c. finely diced sweet onion
1 tbsp. brined capers, well-drained
3 tbsp. very finely diced celery
1 tbsp. fresh-squeezed lemon juice
2 tbsp. fresh dill, finely chopped
pinch of cayenne pepper {to taste}

Mix everything in a large, deep bowl. Chill for at least half an hour to allow flavors to marry.

Serve on a bed of greens, in scooped-out avocado halves, or spooned onto crostini. Top with some of the fresh dill feathers {leaves} and a few more capers {if you love 'em like I do}.

Also great with red, ripe tomatoes and artichoke hearts.
Gorge without guilt!

Hello darlings. I know, I've been bad. I've been away - off doing things I cannot mention, but I've slithered back into Goreyhaus just in time for holiday cheer. What jolly time could be had without a little tipple. And some sugar. And some luxurious richness too?!

I have the answer to all those hungers. Let's feed your needs with a trifle.

Despite the name, a trifle - the British confectionery celebration in a bowl - is nothing to trifle with. Sure, you can play with your food: you could use brownie chunks instead of spongy, vanilla-scented cake; or you could use everything from jars and cans rather than make yummy from scratch; Hell, you can even leave out the booze. But you'd be doing yourself a disservice, chum.

Set aside a little time, and I do mean a little, and do this baby right. [Psst, I'm going to cut a corner or two myself to speed the feed. Don't tell anyone, ok?] After all, Xmas only comes but once a year - live it up. Go get your bottle....I'll wait.

So, let's get cooking, my little cookies.



First, make the creme anglaise. This is best made the day before so it has time to chill and set before layering the trifle for service.

To begin: pour the cream or half & half into a heavy saucepan. Cut the vanilla bean lengthwise and scrape out the seeds. Add the delicious vanilla podpaste and the remaining bean pieces to the liquid. Bring this to a simmer over medium-low heat, cover, and remove from the heat. Let it sit for 15 minutes to steep like a luscious tea.

While that steeps, beat the egg yolks and the sugar together in a large, deep bowl - until the mixture is slightly thickened and paler than when you started.

Back to the saucepan: gently heat the milk mixture again (low-medium temp) until a few bubbles appear around the edges.

Slowly whisk the hot milk into the bowl of egg yolks and sugar. When fully combined, return the mixture to the saucepan, off the heat.

Rinse-out and dry the mixing bowl, then set a fine-mesh sieve or a colander lined with cheesecloth over the top.

Place the saucepan over low heat and, using a non-metal utensil, stir the sauce gently - being careful to sweep the bottom of the pan. As soon as the mixture has thickened a bit, remove the pan from the heat and stir continuously for 2 minutes. Be careful not to whip air into it as you stir, just swirl constantly for the 2 minutes.

The sauce should have the consistency of heavy cream (NOT be thick like whipped cream or pudding!). Pour it through the fine-mesh sieve into the mixing bowl and let it cool for 10 minutes, stirring periodically to prevent a skin from forming. When cooled, cover with plastic wrap touching the surface so no skin can form, and refrigerate for up to a day.

To make the layer loveliness:
Find yourself a pretty vessel - an actual trifle bowl, an ornate punch bowl, a glass tureen - you pick it.

Cut the cake into slices or cubes, and line the bottom of you pretty dish with their spongy sweetness. Now make some boozy rain! Sprinkle half the sherry over the cake like a tipsy thunderstorm!

Now spoon in about 1/2 c. of the jam/preserves, making sure to coat each drunken cake bit with some fruity goo.

Now go nuts, literally - take about half the slivered almonds in your hand and sprinkle them over the cake. Next comes the actual berries - again, half of your fruit jumps in the bowl. These layers are then topped with half the cooled creme anglaise.

Then repeat: more cake, more sherry, then jam. That gets a blanket of almonds, berries and creme. You can stop there, but if you have more cake after a second layer, you can top the dish with cake. If you do, however, be sure to spike this top cake layer with more sherry or jam, or both.

Set this monolith of dessert pleasure aside so you can whip it, whip it good.

Add the whipping cream and powdered sugar to a large bowl. Whip it into whipped cream by means of whisk, immersion blender or any other kitchen power tool.

When the cream is stiff and sweet, top the entire trifle with it. Sprinkle a few leftover berries or almond slivers on top, and pause to admire this awesome creation.

If you're serving this later, hold off on the whipped cream. Simply, cover the trifle and refrigerate it for no more than a few hours (the cake with turn to mush if left too long). Just before serving, whip the cream, top the trifle and serve. You can even use a pastry bag to pipe the cream decoratively, that's up to you.

If purchasing your cake, you can also look for ladyfingers - little pillows of spongecake. Get vanilla or butter ones, never chocolate. Ah, those make me remember my dear old pal Dieter, who used to love chocolate fingers, as he called them.

Serve, and - as your guests gasp with delight - steady yourself for the imminent frenzy.
Throw spoons at everyone and dive in!

Since the warm weather months are coming to a quick finale, at least in the northern hemisphere, the succulent globes known as stone fruit are soon going to disappear for a while. {sniff}

Plums, peaches, nectarines, apricots are in this family, which is one of my favorite fruity clans, and are so named for the pits, or stones, inside. I love other kinds of pits and stones, but this produce variety makes much better desserts. If you can, use organic fruit for this because stone fruits tend to suck up chemical fertilizers, which do not make delicious desserts.

Crisps {essentially aka crumble, buckle, betty or cobbler} are often associated with apples or berries...or witches, but fleshy, stoned goodies make equally amazing pans of ooey, gooey fruitness topped with buttery, crunchy goodness.

One of my favorite things about a crisp is that it isn't terribly surgary because my teeth are not now, nor have they ever been, sweet.

Numinous Nectarine-Plum Crisp

filling:
1lb. each nectarines and plums, washed, pitted and sliced into wedges
1/4 c. granulated sugar
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. lemon juice

topping:
1/3 c. brown sugar
1/3 c. unbleached all-purpose or whole wheat flour
1/2 c. rolled oats
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
6 tbsp. cold butter
pinch of Kosher salt
ice water, if needed


Preheat oven to 375-degrees F.

Place fruit in a deep bowl, dress with lemon juice and toss. Sprinkle granulated sugar and cinnamon on top and stir well to evenly coat. Set aside.

Use one tablespoon of the butter to coat a baking or casserole dish (I use an 8x8-inch square glass pan that is 2-inches deep). Pour the fruit mixture in.

In a clean mixing bowl, combine the dry ingredients: the flour, brown sugar, oats, cinnamon and salt. Take the remaining 5 tbsp. of cold butter and cut it into the dry mix until it resembles little pearls of butter. If it is very dry despite the tiny butter balls, you can add ice cold water - one teaspoon at a time - until the dry mix is just barely moist and holds together when squeezed in your hand, much like damp sand.

Pour the topping mix over the top of the fruit, making sure to cover the entire top. Place the baking dish on a cookie or baking sheet to catch overflow drips {and protect your oven}. Bake for about 45 minutes, or until bubbly and slightly golden brown on top.

Allow to cool for about half an hour. Serve alone or topped with whipped cream or ice cream.

Serves about 6 people, or only one grumpy ogre.

As of 5:05 am this morning, summer is official over. While I'm a pale-hided creature who doesn't like to sweat in the sun much, I will miss the easy days and sultry nights spent lurking in the bushes outside your....um, outside.

Tonight, to celebrate this celestial shift, I'm gathering with my sisters for a celebration of the bounty we've enjoyed and the new harvest of fall soon to come. The weather here today is wet and humid, not very autumnal at all, but we can imagine a better situation and make mirth nonetheless.

Staples of the fall table are on the menu, so I'm whipping up my minions and forcing them to help in the dungeon kitchen to make an offering. One of my favorite cool weather veggies is Brussel sprouts...and before you start shrieking "ew" and making tortured villager faces, let me say you've never had my roasted sprouty dish.

If done my way, the little green globes get caramelized and sweet, and blend nicely with some nutrient-rich sweet potatoes and shallots. This is also a super easy side that goes well with any chicken or pork dish. Just put it together, throw it in the oven and walk away....kinda like babysitting.


Gorey's Shalloty Sweeties & Sprouts

1 lb. medium to large fresh Brussel sprouts
4 large shallots, sliced
1 very big sweet potato or yam, peeled & cut into 1-inch chunks
2 tbsp. olive oil
very course salt
fresh ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 350-degrees F.

Trim stem and outermost leaves from the sprouts, wash them thoroughly under cold water. You can leave them whole or cut them in half vertically.

In a deep baking dish, combine sprouts, shallots and potatoes. Drizzle with oil and sprinkle to taste with salt and pepper. Toss to coat everything well.

Cover the dish and pop in oven. Bake 25 minutes and then check them, stirring gently to allow for even carmelization. Recover and bake another 20 minutes.

Remove from oven, uncover, and chomp them down your gullet.

Serves 4 to 6.

Along with roasted meat (if you're carnivoring) or maybe a hearty stew, have these little orange & green gems with some wine, beer or hard/apple cider to complete the experience.

Merry Mabon or Happy Fall to all.

Oh, I did steal the title from Death Cab For Cutie, but I really don't like that song...instead I'm opting for this lilting lullaby:

I've long been in love with food and all things related to it, but I'm fairly new to the sourcing facet. I mean, I always cared where what I ate came from and had some strong, even pseudo-political feelings about what I wouldn't eat ~ no veal, boycotted certain over-fished seafoods, anti-unicorn eater, only fresh zombie...you know, the usual rules ~ but apart from those, mostly emotional rules, I never thought much about my choices.

What I mean by sourcing is understanding better where things come from and how they are man-handled before they land on your plate. I suppose this was never a big concern before partly due to the fact that I was too trusting (always a mistake!), and because I have not consumed a lot of processed, packaged things in a long time. The shift in wanting to know more about my eats has come since my cancer, because someone like me should not have had it. And there are many others like me. So what can be the cause? Even doctors can't say for sure. So I began digging ~something we ghouls are wont to do ~ and found there may be more reasons than I thought.

Even though I don't indulge in tasteless, petrified things made in a lab, there are certain foods that are just more convenient to buy. For instance, in the dead of winter it is normally better to buy canned tomatoes for cooking than to find decent fresh ones. What I've recently learned, however, is that many canned items (and especially acidic foods like tomatoes) can contain chemicals used to line metal cans or as part of the preserving process.

Another big culprit ~ allegedly ~ is meat. Yes, I know my vegan/veg pals can feel superior here, but not all of us are made for such sacrifice...and I do love a sacrifice. If you're going to gnash on the flesh, you have got to know it first. And, as a predator myself, I also realize this goes against the cardinal rule of not conversing with the meal, but make the effort to differentiate the good from the bad to insure your protein doesn't come back to haunt you.

Meat Maxims:


~ No shooting up. You don't inject yourself with growth hormones or antibiotics, do you want to eat things that were?

~ Don't fall for au naturel. Labels that read "all natural" don't have to prove it much less mean it. Just like "low fat" and "whole grain" there are shades of truth to such monikers. Be wary and investigate a little more.

~ Cut Through the Bullshit. "organic" and "natural" don't necessarily mean the same thing, although marketing companies would like us to believe they do. For more on this, LIVESTRONG bares the beef.

~ Scope the neighborhood for prey. Whether you're an urban-dweller with lots of retail options or a country squire within a short drive to farms, there must be at least one purveyor of suitable beef in your vicinity. I am lucky to be a rural monster, and have made nice with the cow folk down the lane...even if they do cross themselves as I leave.

Finally, one last rule that's just my own method: keep it to a minimum. I am an omnivore and proud of it, but I relegate beef to the occasional meal rather than an everyday yummy. I realize this isn't easy for everyone, but there are ways to feed the need without killing the joy.

Get creative. Substitute. Try new things...and I'll help with healthful recipes to stave off complete withdrawl.

One coming soon....