Log in

No account? Create an account

Puff The Magic Chicken...Pie

While I don't attack most desserts, I like pie from time to time. One filled with fruit or better yet rich, mousse-like cremes. I am still haunted by my dear grandmere's perfectly sweet and tart lemon pie and sometimes dream of a now lost place that served gargantuan coconut cream pie so high you could leap to your demise from it's whipped peaks.

But a rarer and more mystical thing is a savory pie, especially here in the States where Tarte Aux Pommes has been supplanted and adopted as a national symbol. Tsk tsk tsk. My people hail from islands where pies contained all manner of goodies, not just sugary treats. While I'll save my recipes for unicorn pasties, Thor's fish paj and Hypnotic Pyewacket Potion for another night, I will impart this secret that will have diners eating out of your hands...and your crockery.

You can roast chicken just for this recipe, use leftovers or - in a pinch - buy a whole roasted bird from your market and pull it to bits with your bare hands {a good way to relieve stress and make dinner}! I also use store-bought puff pastry dough, so what seems like an all-day chicken stew topped with pâte à choux - and tastes like it, trust me - is much less work. But that, like so many dark truths, can be your secret...

Ye Olde Goreyhaus Magickal Chicken Pies

2 cups chopped cooked chicken
2 tbsp canola or vegetable oil
8 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups chicken stock
1/2 tsp. fresh thyme, finely chopped
1/2 tsp fresh parsley, finely chopped
1/3 c onion, diced
1/2 c celery, diced
1/2 c carrots, diced
1/2 c mushrooms, chopped
1/2 c potatoes, diced
1/2 c green peas, fresh or frozen
one sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 egg, beaten with 1 tsp water
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 400ºF.

Add the oil to a large saucepot over medium heat. Add the onions and potatoes and saute, stirring occasionally until they start to become tender - then add the other vegetables {except the peas} and saute until everything is just soft, about 10 minutes. Then transfer all veg to a large bowl and return the pot to the heat.

Add and melt the butter. Add the flour and saute, stirring constantly, until the mixture smells fragrant and nutty - this will take only 1 to 3 minutes so be careful to stir and not overcook it.

Slowly add the stock to the flour-butter mixture, whisking until it creates a smooth sauce, then bring to a bubbling simmer. Add the thyme and saute for 1 minute to infuse it with the herb. Add the vegetables back and stir well to combine. Mix in the chicken, parsley and peas, and heat for about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and let cool for 5 minutes.

Divide the filling among ovenproof bowls or crocks and place them on a baking sheet to catch any bubbling over messes. Brush the rims of the bowls with water. Cut pastry to fit each one and place a piece of pastry on top of each bowl, pressing lightly on the edges to seal. Brush each pastry with the egg mixture and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Using a sharp paring knife, cut two to three 1-inch slits in the crust to vent.

Bake until the pastry is puffed and golden brown, about 20 minutes. Let rest for 5 minutes before serving.

You can also make one big pie, topped with a full sheet of the frozen pastry. If you do it that way, it may require an extra few minutes of baking, so when the poof has puffed and turned golden brown, it is done. I must warn you of the feeding frenzy likely to commence when this hits your table. And the comfy, soporific afterglow. Bask in it darklings.

Screaming Good Stuffing To Fill The Void

It's coming. The annual day of gluttony. And sloth. And liquor. And relatives that make you long for the bleak, silent emptiness of the void. But then, there's stuffing and as a bearded devil I know in Western Pennsylvania recently told me, "it's all about the stuffing." Amen.

Stuffing is a subjective thing. Some like the stovetop variety, which I can understand if you're not really a fan of filling. Other people get a little too Jackson Pollock about it, throwing cranberries and broccoli and cheese in the mix. Um, no, there are a few basic guidelines I feel have to be followed. I'm not sure what they are because I'm not really about rules most of the time but I draw the line at oysters and fruit in the same dish (yes, I have heard of such an abomination). Unless it's lemon. Or a nice plump and screaming mandrake root...which is not a fruit necessarily but, hey, shrieking food is pretty fun.

But back to stuffing for turkeys or whatever other creature you choose to roast until crisp and juicy when in a festive mood - here's the one I trust to make the monsters salivate. Leave out the nuts if you wish, it'll still be delicious...

Gorey's Sausage-Apple-Pecan Cornbread Stuffing

2 sticks (16 tbsp.) unsalted butter
2-1/2 cups yellow onions, diced small
3 tart, unpeeled apples, cored and cut into 1/2-inch chunks; do not peel (Winesap and Granny Smith are nice)
1 pound fresh,
sage sausage (not links; the ground, loose kind)
about 5 cups coarsely crumbled corn bread*
about 5 cups dried white bread cubes (homemade or store-bought)
2-1/2 tsp dried thyme
1-1/2 tsp dried sage
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 cup pecans
1/3 cup chicken or turkey stock or broth (pan drippings are fantastic here)

Melt one stick of butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the chopped onions and cook, partially covered, until tender and very lightly colored, about 20 minutes.

Transfer the onions and butter to a large mixing bowl.

Melt the other stick of butter in the same skillet. Add the apple chunks and cook over high heat until lightly colored but not mushy.

Transfer the apples and butter to the same mixing bowl.

Crumble the sausage into the skillet and cook over medium heat, stirring often, until lightly browned. With a slotted spoon, transfer the sausage to the mixing bowl and reserve the rendered fat.

Add the remaining ingredients - except pecans and stock/broth - to the onions, apples and sausage and combine gently. Taste for seasoning and add more salt, pepper, sage or parsley to your liking.

Pour everything into a large oven-proof dish or pan. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

On the big day, about an hour before you want to eat (while the turkey rests), preheat your oven to 325°F.
Remove stuffing pan from fridge, add pecans and gently toss. Drizzle stock or broth over stuffing, toss again.

Bake, uncovered, for 30 to 45 minutes, basting occasionally with the cooking juices from the bird for extra turkey goodness.

Serve and watch the fits of joy!

* I typically bake three batches of cornbread two days before Thanksgiving. The convenient box variety is fine. I bake, crumble and allow it to sit out overnight on cookie sheets to dry slightly.

This drying will allow it to absorb the stuffing's butter, stock and seasonings. Without it, your dish may be mushy.

After the overnight dry, I put the crumbled cornbread into large zip-top bags until I assemble the stuffing. You can also use store-bought dried cornbread, which I have done, but you may need more liquid to compensate for those very dried crumbs -- and I think that has less cornbread flavor, which means the stuffing has less too.

Kiss Me Deadly...Fangs Very Much

I tried to get away from here - from plying my trade, my passion for all things sensual that go in the mouth - but I just can't stop myself. I'm back - just in time for Halloween! - wanting to give more....and get you tipsy. Plus I've given my heart away to my soulmate Nokken so I'm all about passion and believing in true love. And monsters, of course.

I had given up on throwing myself my flirty foodstuffs at you. Frankly, I wonder what the point is, considering all the people shouting into the abyss about their "heart-stopping" gastropub entree or posting pics to Instagram about the "to die for" appetizer they just had (and you didn't!).

You know what my darkness-loving self has to say to those people? I'll show you heart-stop...{ahem}...you can die....um....it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here, I'm here and we're gonna get all sticky sweet and liquored up on a gothtail that'll make your ventricles quiver in more ways than one.

Vampires (as I won't hesitate to tell you) know a thing or two about hearts, pumping veins and how to use their lusty mouths. Therefore, you should totally take it from me when I say a Vampire's Kiss is something you should never miss.

Come get it, lovers.

The Vampire's Kiss
one shot vodka
one shot champagne
1/2 shot Chambord raspberry liqueur
red food coloring
red sanding sugar

Combine a few tablespoons of the red sugar (the kind you use to decorate holiday cookies) with just enough red food coloring to make a slightly runny, sweet-as-candy-blood mixture.

Take the rim of your favorite sexy cocktail glass and rim it (yes, I said rim sweetie) in that crimson liquid. If it runs down the side when you stand it up, all the better - love is good when it's messy.

Pour the three spirits into your pretty vessel.

Use a cocktail stirrer, straw, spoon...or another appendage...to combine the intoxicating potion.

Serve one to your intended, one to yourself. Repeat as desired.

DON'T SKIP THIS: Let whatever happens next just sweep you away....and never regret.

Final step: write me here and tell me what happens, I love a good love story. Happy Halloween!
Blood & kisses,
Mistress G

I Am Your Slice of Life

Despite my love of fire and immersing things in it, I'm not a baker. Some of us, we kitchen haunters, are cooks and some are bakers...I fall into the previous group. Like my friends the shape-shifters or those silly demons who can morph into your most feared thing, cooking is an art - it is versatile, malleable, flexible - you can modify recipes with omissions or adding little extras...much like a lovely third eye in the forehead or prehesile tail where it shouldn't be.

Baking, however, is more of a science. Just a pinch too much baking powder or soda and you've either got an over-puffed mess or a flat, dry cake. So I guess this means I like to play around with my food, to craft it to meet my own evil ends. Yes. A million times yes.

Confessions of control issues aside, I do bake when the mood strikes me - if there's a special occasion such as a birthday, a particular celebration or when my old Draugr pals come to visit. Another time deserving of baking is when top quality ingredients are in season, as they are now. Halloween brings juicy, giant pommes - so mouth-watering they burst as you bite into them, much like a corpulent victim after a lot of wine a liqueur-filled chocolate truffle.

Since it's autumn on the estate and my minions pick fruit by day while I slumber in my cool, dark crypt, I'm feeling all bakey, hence, Imma cross the alchemy-science line. And you know, my darklings, that autumn apples just scream {at least the ones I grow} for brown sugar and cinnamon,,,so we'll conjure a crisp. For non-baker creatures like myself, such a dish is as easy as pie...look at that, a baking joke. {fangs out}

No excuses my sweets, follow the spell below to make yourselves drunk with fruity pleasure. You can use any type of apple to whip this thing up but make 'em firm, tart and sassy {naughty grin} because much like a water-logged zombie, soft, sweet ones just fall apart when you cook them.

One requirement: if this potion leads to heady intoxication, which in turn, leads to you getting into trouble -- make sure to tell me all about it.
Gorey's Preternatural Pomme Crisp
6 large apples (I love Granny Smiths); peeled, cored and cut into 1/4-inch slices
2 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tbsp lemon juice

1/2 c light brown sugar, packed
1/3 c flour
1/2 c rolled oats
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch of salt
6 tbsp cold butter, cut into small cubes

Preheat oven to 375-degrees F.

In a large bowl, toss apple slices with lemon juice and granulated sugar until well combined. Set aside.

Combine remaining dry ingredients in a food processor or large mixing bowl until evenly distributed. Next, cut in the butter. This is easier with the processor, just add the butter cubes and pulse the machine until the mixture looks like tiny pebbles or sand. Without a machine, use a fork or pastry cutter to get the same effect.

Place the apple mixture in the bottom of a shallow baking vessel (a 2-3" deep casserole dish works nicely).

Sprinkle the flour-sugar-butter mix on top, making sure to evenly cover the entire dish. Place in oven, with a cookie sheet underneath in case of bubbling over.

Bake about 45 minutes, or until apples are tender and gooey. Serve with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.
Throw spoons at the guests and get out of the way!

Celebrate With Gothtails

Today is World Goth Day my darklings....who knew there'd ever be such a day back in the Dark Ages when the shadowpeeps got a lot of flack for being what their dead, cold, black & beautiful little hearts said they were.

Whether this designation means we're accepted {I hope the fuck not - that would pollute the pool, if you know what I mean} or not, any day devoted to dazzling darkness is a day to tip one and cheer. To that end, let's mix up some potent potions to toast the diverse denizens of the dark....from Glittergoths and Babybats to Eldergoths and RivetRavens...let's all thrash, drink and be scary.

Kisses and gnashes....drink up my pretties.

Barnabas Collins
like Tom but with a deep red bite!

1&1/2 oz gin
1 oz lemon juice {fresh is always best}
1/2 oz. simple syrup {see recipe below}
dash of grenadine
lemon slice
pomegranate seeds

Pour everything but the grenadine, lemon slice and pom seeds into ice-filled cocktail shaker. Shake and strain into a tall Collins glass. Drip in grenadine for taste and dramatic color {that's totally goth}. Garnish with lemon twist and pom jewels.

Black Martini
darkly orange-and-raspberry flavored...

4&1/2 oz vodka
1 oz. blue curacao liqueur
2 oz. Chambord

Pour all into ice-filled cocktail shaker. Shake well. Strain into martini glass.

Make. Drink. Repeat. Play some music and get your gothdancing on.

Let's Get Transcendental

I have a few pals who claim to dislike curry and/or vegetables, especially Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes. To these beasts I say {to play on that gorgeous gancanagh Morrissey} you just haven't learned it yet baby.


By that I mean, don't give up just because your mama used to make you stinky sprouts or pasty potatoes...these gems of the garden are oh-so-yum if only they're prepared well...and not just boiled until their lifeforce withers like so many virgins in Dracula's keep.

This recipe uses healthy veggies that some people say they hate but it's easy and flavorful - and roasting them makes them earthy, sweet and as succulent as a cornfed farmboy nature intended. So, fire up the oven Witchy-Poo, we're gonna go full-on fucking fairy tale on these colorful veg-beetches.

Oh! Since we're doing a curry, let's also make raita - a traditional, cooling Indian condiment used to balance the spice of a curry. You can spoon a little over your portion when plating or put it in mini bowls on the side for dipping. Make it first and keep it in the fridge until the curry's ready to devour.

Cucumber-Mint Raita

1 large seedless cucumber, peeled, chopped and wrap in paper towel to blot excess water
Small bunch (about 1/4-cup) fresh mint leaves, finely chopped
2 c plain Greek yogurt
½ tsp red or rice wine vinegar
½ tsp Kosher salt
Pinch each of cumin, garlic powder and cayenne pepper

Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl, stirring well to incorporate everything evenly.
Cover and place in fridge for at least one hour. Keeps, well chilled, up to 4 days.

Gorey’s Mind-Blowing Veg Madras

2 large Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-1/2 inch chunks
1 medium sweet potato or yam, peeled and cut into 1-1.2 inch chunks
1 large onion, cut into large wedges
1 medium to large bell pepper (green, orange or red), ribs and seeds removed & cut into 1-1/2 inch pieces
2 medium carrots, peeled or well-scrubbed
1 head of garlic, separated and papery skins removed
12 Brussels sprouts, halved
1 box frozen spinach or okra (your preference)
2 generous tbsp Madras curry powder
1 tsp salt
½ tsp black pepper
3 tbsp olive or canola oil

Preheat oven to 375-degrees F.

Place all veg (except the frozen okra or spinach) in a large baking pan, pour in the oil and toss to coat each piece well. Add a little more oil if it seems like some bits aren’t coated and shiny.

Set whichever frozen veg you selected, still in its packaging, in a room temp area of the kitchen to thaw slightly while other veggies roast like Hansel und Gretl.

Sprinkle the salt, black pepper and Madras curry over and toss again, using a large mixing spoon or hands, until everything is covered in spice.

Cover with a lid or foil, place in oven for 30-35 minutes.

Then: open and inspect. The veg mixture should be softened and golden from spices soaking in. Open your formerly frozen greenery and add it to the baking dish, stirring gently but mixing it thoroughly into the other vegetables.

Do not replace lid - bake uncovered for an additional 20 minutes - until all the plant-based goodness is piping hot, super tender and slightly golden as all good roasted veggies (and trolls) should be.

Serve the raita and roasted veg curry with a protein - a lamb or chicken entree would be nice - or just by themselves...maybe with some Basmati rice, a pilaf, couscous or even the trendy-as-fuck quinoa. And, I must inform you, some spicy mango chutney always makes for the best experience with this meal.

Let the {healthy and delicious} feeding frenzy commence!

Give In To Desire...Orgasmic Orzo

'In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love...'

That, taken from Tennyson's poem Locksley Hall, documents that throughout {literary} history spring - with its explosion of greenery and floral color as well as its warmer temperatures - inspires humans (not just men, thanks very much) to turn frisky, flirty and to long for sensual pleasures.

Like doing the original nasty, eating - especially if done right *wink* - sets off fireworks in the brain's pleasure centers. So in honor of all things sensuously satisfying and seasonal spring edibles (I mean foods, you beautiful fiends), I give you a truly orgasmic orzo dish.


Eat it on its own as a meatless entree but it pairs supernaturally well with a well-prepared protein, especially seafood or roasted or grilled chicken. In my book (or I should say grimoire, because its my go-to book after all), this Gorey orzo has to be served with a salad dressed with my lemon vinaigrette.

Make a big bowl of greens with all your salad faves tossed in - and don't forget tomatoes, scallions and cucumbers because their flavors in that dressing (see below) offer acid and crunch for amazeballs euphoric food porn points.

Enjoy my pretties...I'm off for a cold shower. ;)

Gorey's Orgazmy Roasted Asparagus-Red Pepper Orzo

1 bunch fresh asparagus
2 medium red bell peppers
1 large sweet onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
3 tbsp fresh parsely, minced
Kosher salt
extra virgin olive oil (get the good stuff - the fruitier the better)
1 box orzo (I like Barilla but you're calling the shots...)

Preheat oven to 350-degrees F.

Place a small square of aluminum foil on top rack of oven to roast the pepper, turn the foil’s edges up to avoid having juices from the pepper leak all over the oven.

Remove tough base-ends from asparagus spears. Wash asparagus and red pepper in cold water and pat dry with a paper towel. Place asparagus in a shallow baking dish and coat with 2 tbsp olive oil. Toss to cover veg well and coat the bottom of the dish. Sprinkle generously with Kosher salt.

Put asparagus dish in oven and the pepper on its makeshift foil tray.

Roast about 45 minutes to an hour, until the asparagus is soft and wilted, and the pepper’s skin bubbles and it becomes soft or even collapses.

Put these aside to cool while you move on to the next steps.

~ Over medium heat and while the veg are roasting, sauté the onion in 2 more tbsp. of oil – in a small pan - until its soft. Once the onion is tender, add the garlic and stir frequently to prevent the garlic from browning (it will turn bitter if it does).

When the garlic and onion mixture is softened, add the parsley and season generously, to taste, with salt and pepper.

~ As you’re sautéing, boil the orzo according to package instructions and drain. Keep in mind you need a colander with small holes so - like good unwitting captives - the orzo doesn't escape!

Return the pasta to its cooking pot and pour in about a ¼-cup good quality extra virgin olive oil. Toss to coat each tiny noodle.

Add the onion-garlic-parsley mixture to the orzo and toss again to evenly distribute the aromatics throughout the pasta.

~ Using hands on the now cooled pepper, gently rub and peel off its charred skin & discard it.

Pull the pepper open and scoop out the seeds and ribs inside. Discard these as well.

Chop the roasted pepper flesh into small pieces.

Cut the asparagus spears into small bits as well.

Toss the pepper and asparagus bits into the orzo and stir well, again to distribute them evenly throughout the dish.

~ Using a fresh spoon, taste the orzo to check if it needs more salt, pepper or fragrant, fruity extra virgin oil. Serve with grated parmesan-romano cheese so your victims guests can use as much or little as they need.

Lemon Vinaigrette Dressing

1/4 c good quality extra virgin olive oil
1 clove of garlic, finely minced OR 1&1/2 tbsp garlic powder
2 tsp Kosher salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
juice of 1 lemon (seeds removed of course)
*pinch of your favorite herbs (I'm partial to more fresh minced parsley and a few chopped capers)

Place all ingredients in a clean jar. Screw lid on tightly and shake until well combined.
If you're jarless, put it all in a shallow bowl and whisk it with a fork until thoroughly mixed.
Dress a salad.

{Ed note: tune to cook by: http://youtu.be/kQHz0QFuMyI}

Exorcist Soup (Part Deux)

{Gorey Note: This is a potion from the archives but spring is the time for peas, so use fresh ones if you can get 'em - it's even better that way!}

I've written before about my addiction to soup - I will remain an addict for the rest of my life, thanks very much. The weather here is so devilishly depressing and damp, full of lovely rain and glorious storms, that it has made me want to indulge my jones for brothy food in celebration. Hence there's soup for you today...

and because fresh spring peas are in season in the NE US (use 'em if you can find 'em), I give you a quick and easy yet light pea soup - because Linda Blair and those hilarious scenes from The Exorcist never get old for me, oh how I laugh!!! {Here's one for the strong & brave among you, www.youtube.com/watch}

A serious Gorey disclaimer: watch that clip when NOT eating if your tummy is sensitive; mine's not so...there ya go.

Stew it and spew it if you so desire, but I like to savor mine and keep it down.
Stay green my little peas.

Gorey's Exorcist Homage Potage aka Quick & Buttery Pea Soup

2 pounds frozen green peas
6 tablespoons butter
2 (14.5-ounce) cans reduced sodium chicken or vegetable broth
2 medium onions, roughly chopped
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup sour cream, for garnish

In a medium pot, melt 2 tbsp. of butter, add the onions and sauté until tender. Add the peas, remaining butter, broth, and onions. If the peas are not submerged in liquid, add more broth or some water to cover them. Bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook for about 7 to 10 minutes, or until the peas are soft enough to puree and still bright green.

Using an immersion blender*, standing blender, or food processor, puree the soup until smooth.

Season to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Serve each bowl with a dollop of sour cream on top and plenty of grilled bread on the side.

*When blending hot liquids: Remove liquid from the heat and allow to cool for at least 5 minutes. If you have no immersion/stick blender, transfer liquid to a traditional blender or food processor and fill it no more than halfway. If using a traditional blender, release one corner of the lid - this prevents the vacuum effect that creates heat explosions. Place a towel over the top of the machine, pulse a few times then process on high speed until smooth.

Eat Irish

In honor of St. Patrick's Day I'm serving up another helping of my famous beef and beer stew. While there's probably a wee bit o'Irish in my ancestry, I cannot be sure...after all we denizens of the dark keep our secrets well...even from each other. Regardless, this dish is tops and will surely add to your good fortunes, especially if you lift a few pints before, during and after. Watch out for rabid leprechauns!

Gorey's Guinness Stew

2 lbs. beef (I like to use a well-marbled chuck roast), cut into 1-inch cubes
2 bay leaves
1 tbsp. dried thyme
1 tsp. dried rosemary
2 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped fine (or 1 tbsp. dried)
1/4 c. Canola or vegetable oil
2 tbsp. butter
1 c. onion, in large dice
1/4 c. flour
12 oz. Guinness (or other dark beer)
1 qt hot beef broth (stock or consomme is also good)
1/2 c. crushed tomatoes
2 tsp. Kosher salt (+ a sprinkle)
2 tsp. freshly-ground black pepper (+ a sprinkle)
1/2 c. carrots, peeled & in large dice
1/4 c. celery, diced
1 c. turnips, peeled & in large dice
1 c. parsnips, peeled & in large dice
dash of Worcestershire sauce

Season the beef with a sprinkling of salt and pepper.

In a large, deep stewpot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat, combine the oil and butter and heat until slightly bubbly. Add the beef in one (not too tightly-packed) layer and brown each cube well on all sides. You may need to do this in batches.

When all beef is browned, remove it and set aside. Add the onions to the pot and saute them until golden and slightly caramelized. Sprinkle the onions with the flour and stir to combine well. Heat this mixture, stirring constantly for about one minute to cook the flour and create a thickening base for your sauce.

Return the beef to the pot, add the beer, hot broth, herbs, Worcestershire sauce, tomatoes, salt and pepper. Bring to a low boil, then reduce the heat to a slow simmer. Cook for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally.

When the 45 minutes has passed, add the remaining ingredients. Continue to cook on a low simmer for an hour or until the meat and vegetables are tender.

Pair with oven-warmed crusty bread, unsalted butter and a salad.

Yield: enough for 6 to 8 people.

Brothy Love to Warm the Undead Heart

[Gorey note: As I said previously, I will - when appropriate - repost some recipes. This is one of those. ;-x ]

I think it's pretty clear I love all things horrific. A bloody-footed terror-run through the woods, any sort of disturbing discovery, those thriling end-times scenarios full of rampaging, ravenous zombies or apocalyptic aliens...ah, good times. This winter, however, definitely horrific yet totally not cool. (stone cold irony intended)

So, since I'm a soupslut and to warm all your cold little hearts, I'm reheating this vicious, viscous, vibrant potion. It is delicious and hits all the high notes on your palate - sizzling spice, comforting creaminess and va-va-voom veggieness (and...shhhh!...it's kind of healthy with the superfoody kale).

Eat up my pretties.

Gorey's Portuguese Green Soup

1 lb. chorizo (or some other spicy sausage) cut into 1/4-inch rounds
1 very large bunch (about 4 cups) kale, thick stems removed and cut or torn into bite-sized pieces
1 large sweet onion
5 large cloves of garlic, roughly chopped
5 medium Russett potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces
2 boxes chicken stock (about 8 cups - I like unsalted Kitchen Basics or Trader Joe's brand)
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes (or to taste)
black pepper
2 tbsp. olive oil

Over medium-high heat, warm the olive oil in the bottom of a deep stockpot. When hot, add onion and sautee until tender. Add garlic and pepper flakes, continue to cook, stirring often, for about 2-3 minutes or until garlic is also soft but not browned. Add the sausage and sautee until heated through.

Stir in the potatoes, toss around well to coat them with all the ingredients already in pot. Continue cooking for about 3 minutes, so they absorb the other flavors and begin to get soft. Then add the chicken stock and stir well.

Cover the pot partially (too much steam/condensation will water down the soup) and reduce heat to medium. Simmer at a low boil for about 10-12 minutes, until potatoes are very tender. When potatoes are soft enough, use an old fashioned hand masher (or some other cooking utensil) to break most of the potatoes up. This very rough mash will utlize the starch in the 'taters to thicken the soup beautifully.

Now add the kale, stirring well to submerge all the greens in the rich liquid. Partially cover the pot again and allow to simmer another 5 to 10 minutes until the kale is tender and vibrant green.

Sample the soup for seasoning, and add salt and pepper to taste.

This is even better the next day, therefore make lots so you can eat some right away and have leftovers tomorrow. Remember, scary slurping is a compliment!